jctoad takes a look at the future

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jctoad takes a look at the future

Postby battye » Fri Aug 31, 2007 12:03 pm

Awesome.

From http://jctoad.home.comcast.net/officep2pnetwork.html

M$ Windows Peer Network for Business
by jctoad


There is talk that the big software giant in Redmond has ideas of putting peer to peer file sharing into their new OS. They think that it would be great for business users. Hmmm...let's see.

Our main character is in an office building and sits in his cubicle. It's Tuesday, 9:20am. Where is he and at what company? That is not important. He is just one of the countless cogs in the machinery like so many others throughout this “modern” Windows world. We join him as he finishes a phone call with a client.

Yes sir Mister Jones, I'll make those changes and e-mail that file right over to you................
Yes, it should be there in a couple of hours................
Your welcome.........
You too Sir.

YES! Who da man? All I need to do is make a couple of changes and cha-ching! I'm going to get that raise when the boss hears about this!

OK. All I need is the Jones' account Excel file.
Ok. Double click M$ Windows Peer Network. What's this popup?
Code: Select all
Updates are ready to download for
M$ Windows Peer Network
Do you wish to update now? 


I don't have time for this now.
cancel........Cancel.........CANCEL!
I can't get out of it. Doh! I'm required to update. OK, I'll click Yes. Not like you actually give me any choice.

Code: Select all
Windows Peer Network is now contacting server for update:

Downloading 1 of 596,456,122 bytes.
Downloading  2 of 596,456,122 bytes.
Downloading  4 of 596,456,122 bytes.

Come on, come on!

Doh! This can't be happening. I'm gonna be here all day.

Two hours, three doughnuts and two cups of coffee later.............
There! Are you happy now. You're frickin update is done. Damn thing just wasted two hours of my life.
OK Double click on M$ Windows Peer Network........Find........j-o-n-e-s dot x-l-s
Cool. It looks like 20 people have the file.
Right click, download.....................Damn! The shortest queue is 90! I'm never going to get it.

Two hours later.....
Oh, now who's messaging me?

Code: Select all
Cubicleboy144_M$ Peer Network
will u strt me plz

Not him again. He can just wait in queue like everyone else.

One more hour later....
Hmm...this dude wants the client mail data base. Pretty big file there guy. Do ya think I just let anyone have important data like that? Cancel.

Five minutes later...
That guys back in queue again. Cancel!

Another five minutes...
Not again! Let's see what you have. Right click, whois.

Code: Select all
Reported by M$ Windows Peer Network remote host
Time/date of report: Tue Mar 11 14:20:42 2005
User Name: Share_or_I_tell_ur_boss666_19512
Connection Type: LAN
Files shared: 0
Elapsed time online: 46:46:37
Transfer Status:  0 in queue (1000 of 1000 available)
Send this users information to Microsoft and the FBI
Get Users IP

AAGGHHH! I can't believe it! He's a leech too. Hammer time.....Wait, I'm gonna get his IP first so I can give it to my boss. Yep, that will make me look good. A little suckin up never hurts.
Got it. 192.168.122 ha, ha. You're dead meat. OK now hammer time.....'dink'. Oh ya, one dead leech. God, I love my job!
Hey Tom, come here. I gotta tell you about this leech I just killed on the network.
Oh, I have something good to tell you too.
Oh ya, what is it Tom?
I heard that the boss changed his username to Share_or_I_tell_ur_boss. Ain't that a hoot? So anyway, what were you gonna tell me about?
Oh,....uh...nevermind.

Another hour passes.....
Cool! I'm the next in cue. What the......He hammered me! I'm sharing the whole mail data base and accounts payable and he hammers me! All he has is a couple of lame two bit customer accounts shared!
Ok, Ok, just relax. I'm at number 2 with the next guy. You still have time to get the file.

Half an hour, a cup of coffee and two aspirins later......
Yes it started! I'm home free now. Awww what is this? .08K 160 hours 10 min and 50 seconds to download! Doh! Ok just walk away from the computer. If I watch it, it will seem to take longer. I'm number one in queue for the next guy and I bet I'll get a 50K download from that one. God, I pray I do.

Half an hour and half a bottle of vodka later......
Yes! I got it. OK. I still have 15 minutes to edit the file and send it to Jones before he leaves the office. Sure it's been more than a couple of hours like I had told him, but it will be there before he leaves anyway.
OK. Explorer, double click on jones.xls
NO! NO! It's a fake!
Who's sharing porn on the network?!!!!!!
Hey...........That looks like Cindy from shipping and receiving?! Wow!! What a bod.
Oh well, so we lose the account and I will probably get fired instead of getting a raise, but getting a nudie pic of Cindy makes it all somehow seem worth it.
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Postby Grinch » Fri Aug 31, 2007 12:30 pm

Funny. What is he up to lately?
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Postby nesman » Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:48 pm

I remember when he first wrote this. Funny stuff. Makes me miss the "Ding!" of LeecHammer.
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Postby battye » Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:57 pm

nesman wrote:I remember when he first wrote this. Funny stuff. Makes me miss the "Ding!" of LeecHammer.


Ah, I remember the ding! I wasn't as involved with WinMX when Leechhammer was at its prime (2002-ish?) but I remember when the bloke who made it released a new version in late 2003/early 2004 I started using it... although by that point I think Mx Moni had well and truly got the market share.
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"OK, life [as you chose to define it] repeats until there are no more lessons to be learned." - nrnoble (June 12, 2005)
"the new forum looks awesome, it's getting bigger & better" - p2p-sharing-rules (11 Jan, 2008)
"Looks like CMX is not only getting bigger...but, also getting better!!" - moongirl (14 Dec, 2007)
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Postby battye » Sun Sep 02, 2007 2:06 pm

Grinch wrote:Funny. What is he up to lately?


No idea. His last post here was Feburary 13, 2006. Hope he's okay.
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"OK, life [as you chose to define it] repeats until there are no more lessons to be learned." - nrnoble (June 12, 2005)
"the new forum looks awesome, it's getting bigger & better" - p2p-sharing-rules (11 Jan, 2008)
"Looks like CMX is not only getting bigger...but, also getting better!!" - moongirl (14 Dec, 2007)
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Re: jctoad takes a look at the future

Postby battye » Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:03 pm

It's worth bumping this... 8 years (?) on and it is still funny :lol:
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"OK, life [as you chose to define it] repeats until there are no more lessons to be learned." - nrnoble (June 12, 2005)
"the new forum looks awesome, it's getting bigger & better" - p2p-sharing-rules (11 Jan, 2008)
"Looks like CMX is not only getting bigger...but, also getting better!!" - moongirl (14 Dec, 2007)
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